Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Good Friend Prompt Rewrite

"Hey Melissa can I tell u something?"Adi asked,"you promise you won't tell anyone what Im about to tell you?"
"Yeah I promise I'll keep it to myself."I awnsered

Everytime you promise something you shouldn't go breaking your promise's. If your friend wants to tell u something that they don't want nobody else to know it's because they trust you. When your friend trusts you it's because you must have showed them that you could be trusted so if they think they could trust you and they tell you a secret or somthing don't go tell everybody because you just hurt them that way and you would also only be hurting yourself because your losing a good friend. This is sometimes difficult to do because if u gt mad at that person your going to want to get back at and to get back at them your going to tell everybody what they told you not tell people and then your just going to make them feel worst and or your going to make your problems bigger. To be a good friend you need to remember these things because then when you have a good friend your not going to go and do something wrong to make that friend not like you anymore. I no this from expierience and it's not cool when you loose a friend it breaks your heart and your friends heart. Also to have a good friendship you can't lie to them and tell them something different from what you told other people if your going to tell them something you going to tell them the same exact thing you told everybody else because if they start talking about it they might tell someone else somthing you didn't want them to know.

3 comments:

Ashley Manns said...

Melissa,
I like your story, because you gave more advice in your explanation which i liked and think could be really helpful to people. I like your beiginnig since you started with people talking but i think you should have made your conclusion different by wrapping up your whole piece instead of just the last of your piece

*gAbY cHaViRa* said...

Melissa,
Melissa I love your hook it's very good. I also like your details and examples. Something that I would like to tell you that you need to work on is on your organization, your conclusion, and your spelling because you have a few of words missed spelled. Those would be the only main things that I would tell you to work on other then that it's pretty good.

Ms. Green said...

This prompt seems listlike, instead of being a well organized paragraph. PP.